Review for the first book I finished after having a baby

While Beauty Sleptby Elizabeth Blackwell

My rating: 3.75 of 5 (the more I think about the story, the closer it gets to 4)

Fairytale retellings are one of my favorite types of books. I love to see what authors can do with a classic story to make it their own new fascinating tale. So when I found this book while looking through the list of e-advanced readers I could download, it stood out. This story was to be different from other fairy tales or even their revised versions. This one was said to be the “true” story of Sleeping Beauty, not of magic or witches, but of a curse brought on by events that could have actually taken place.

This was written as historical fiction, rather than fantasy. Usually I’m not a fan of historical fiction, but I’ve been in a reading slump and thought maybe I should give it a try since it was still a fairy tale. It took me a while to read since I started it before I had little miss ma’am and it took me a little while to adjust to a newborn. (I finally learned that feeding her/rocking her was the perfect time for reading – though not so great for trying to write. Though, I recently found that I may be able to write while wearing her in the Moby Wrap we finally got!)

I wanted to love this book, but it wasn’t what I thought it would be. It did get me through the reading rut I’d been in though and I read 2 more books in the 3 days following finishing this one up so I give it credit for that. I’m still honestly a little torn on how I feel about the whole thing. I fluctuate between a 3 and 4 star  depending on which part of the book I think of. But as a whole, I would recommend this to anyone who likes fairy tale retellings or possibly even if they just like historical fiction. (Though, full disclosure, as I’m not a reader of it, I can’t vouch for whether it’s historically accurate to any time period.)

Anyway, here’s what I liked and what I did not.

The Good:

*Very well written descriptions and most of the characters were well developed. Many of them I missed once the book was over, and those are the good kind. The villains were well developed too, but I can’t say I miss them.

*Elise’s love story.

*Even though it was written as a historical version of the story, it still felt like “once upon a time” was the setting. I’m not sure if that was intentional, but I liked it.

The Not So Good

*The pacing was by far my biggest issue. It felt like there were pieces of the story that were dragged out far too long, but then the ending felt rushed.

*The foreshadowing was kind of awful. It seemed like almost every page had a line something like this: “If only we knew then what this would truly mean.” It was all. the. time. And it got really redundant. We get it, something terrible is going to happen, and you didn’t see some of the signs (or sometimes you did, and pointed that out as well).

*So as not to say any spoilers, I just want to say that I really didn’t like some of the events that played out.

The “It’s not really bad, but this made it not what I expected”

*There was very little about Rose herself. This was not her story until almost the very end, she was barely

in it. She was a driving force behind some of the story, but it was really Elise’s story.

*I still haven’t decided how I feel about the ending.

My Beliefs

I wrote this back when I was writing more often.

I hate the assumption made that I don’t believe in anything. I believe in a lot more than I ever have before, and I think that should be put out there in the open.

I believe in people. I believe in humanity and that we can be better than we are. Not that we should progress and keep building more and more inventions, but that we know how to take care of one another and that most of us will. I believe that people are a kind species and that we are born innately good (for the most part). I think that people look to God and religion to show them a way to do good for others because they feel a need to help their fellow man. This alone proves to me that we can get better. Unfortunately, a nasty side effect of religion is war. Controversies have led to bloodshed over the years. But I think this is greed for power brought on by a sense of righteousness that was brought out by gods.

I believe in science. I believe that science is making progress toward explaining so many questions that many of us haven’t even thought up yet.

We are an amazing species, but instead of looking to ourselves and the world around us, we argue that there has to be something more. We cannot even come close to understanding what’s right here in front of us. Why do we need to invent gods to explain as well? It gives us a crutch. It gives people a reason for why things happen. It also gives some people a way to escape responsibility. If God says it’s okay in the Bible to judge and to be hateful toward someone not like you, that makes it okay, right? If that’s the reason to believe in a god, I’d rather believe in humanity. There are miraculous things happening all around us and we are the ones doing them.

I believe in love. I believe in the power of music. I believe in the power of the human mind and the human heart and the human body. And I believe these are more powerful than any god that any organization would have us believe in.

Looks Like I've Still Got Time

So I guess since baby girl has decided she's never going to come out, I still have time to write something. I have been incredibly slack looking at my past posts. Can I blame this on pregnancy and exhaustion? I'm probably going to. I haven't managed to do much worth writing about thus not writing.
For the record, I have tried to convince TM that it's time to go. Every old wive's tale that wouldn't hurt her has been tried:
~Hot showers
~Rolling around on an exercise ball
~Walking
~Spicy food
~Foot Massage
~Evening Primrose Oil
~Clary Sage Essential Oil

She's just not ready to see the snow I guess. So for now, under doctor's orders, I've stopped trying to convince her. The midwife told me for my own health and sanity (not so much for TM's sake) that I need to stop stressing and just let her hang out there until she's ready. Today was day 2 of not trying anything. And I guess it was nice to just relax a little. And I guess writing is good for stress.

Not sure where this post is going to be completely honest, but I felt like I needed to write one more time before she comes. Which she will. One way or another.

I guess I could give you a heads up on what future posts I may eventually write. I've started a few of them, but either haven't completed the project or haven't felt like writing the post itself. Let's see.
Things you have to look forward to reading about from me when I get around to doing/writing about them:
*Cloth diapering. This is a hard one because TM isn't here yet. The idea though is to write about how cost effective it turns out to be and how much of a pain it may be. I've got everything I need to do this and I'm lucky that my apartment has a washer and dryer so hopefully it won't be so bad.
*Using a Moby-Wrap. I don't know what I'm going to say about that. I'm sure once I'm using it, I'll have some great story about how I tried to wear her out to dinner and dropped a taco on her face or something.
*I'm crocheting things. Well, I'm starting them. And I'm pinning lots of ideas on Pinterest. (You can follow me if you want *click here for my Pinterest* -I'll try to get it up in the sidebar too!) I think I'm kind of understanding how patterns work and the idea is to eventually get an Etsy shop opened up. I actually created one. And a PayPal for it. But I have no items to put in the shop so I have to work on that part still.
*Maybe I'll write mine and J's wedding story. Man, it's been almost 2 months, and I have totally not written that. I really am slack.
*I'll probably write a really great birth story for you all to read. I'm sure it'll involve us going into the hospital while it snows. Because I should have her within a week or they'll induce and it shows no sign of the snow stopping. Ever.
*I also learned how to use my Crock Pot (it's amazing!) so I'll have to link some recipes in. Or, maybe I'll even make up some of my own and share those. Okay, they'll probably be links to someone's from Pinterest.

Man, and I haven't written up any of those. I guess I did have something to write about, if I had just not been so incredibly lazy. I'll work on that. Maybe. Well, I'll think about it while I'm laying in bed.

Evolution Baby

(Disclaimer: May not be suitable for those of a strong Christian persuasion. You have been warned.)

What if my daughter is not a miracle? What if she was an "Oh sh*t" moment in a Wal-Mart bathroom stall when that second line showed up. What if she was the hardest decision I ever had to make. What if I knew I never wanted kids and here I am having one and trying to figure out how that's going to work out.

On the flip side. What if my daughter was the hardest struggle I've ever had to face trying to conceive. What if she's the product of some amazing medicines, scientific processes, and trackers to be able to get pregnant. What if she is the tears of joy and the endless thanks given to the doctors who made her possible.

Would either situation mean I'm any less grateful or excited for her? I don't think so. I'll  never tell her she's my miracle or my blessing. Instead, I'm so in awe of what my body is capable of. I am growing a freaking human! And whether I cried of joy or of fear, that is something pretty incredible. After so many years of evolution, we have come from single cells to cells that reproduce and can reproduce another tiny version of our mixed DNA.

I'll tell her instead that she is one of the most wonderful things to happen to me, something that I didn't think would ever happen. I'll tell her she's the product of love and of some really awesome biology. I'll tell her she's loved immensely and infinitely by both her parents. And I think that that is enough.

I have lost my notebook.

This is going to be a very "me being real" post, not very helpful (as in no tutorial) and not funny.  So if you're looking for a tutorial or a book review please see the very few posts to the right. 

Losing a notebook should not be the end of the world. And I understand (somewhere in my mind) that it's really really truly not. Right now, though, it feels like it. I am very much a list person. It's how I keep myself focused (even just a little bit) and how I figure difficult things out. This notebook had all of my lists. Not to mention, I realized after a few days of it being missing that it also has my pregnancy insurance information in it. I have searched everywhere I can think of in my house, at work, and in my car. These are all places where I take it on a regular basis just so I can function. It's not in any of them. I've called Hobby Lobby and Walmart as a last ditch effort wondering if they had found it. If they did, I'm sure they threw it away. 

The longer I go without it, the more upset I get. It is an almost crippling feeling to have it missing. I did buy a very cheap replacement for it, but that was when I thought I simply wasn't looking hard enough. I'm trying to use the new one. Really really trying. But thus far it is not being the sanity I need and what the other one was.

With this pregnancy, I got "pregnancy brain." (I think that's the technical term.) I joke about how it makes me feel stupid, but I legitimately feel stupid. I can't remember anything for more than a few minutes, much less a full day. I go into a store without a list and forget at least 3/4 of what I needed. So I wrote everything I needed down as I realized I needed it so I wouldn't have to struggle with even making a list. 

I struggle with anxiety. I worry about what's going to happen in 4 months when I have a child. I need to find a daycare and we will need to move when this lease is up. I need to find a doctor for her, and I need to get both of us on some kind of insurance. This is the stuff I can remember right now. None of this is terribly urgent yet. So I write it down. I keep a list of "Figure Out Today," "Figure Out Tomorrow," "Figure Out This Week," "Figure Out This Month," etc. Then I gradually edit the lists as I figure things out. I had lists of apartments to call/not call/already called. 

There were basic to do lists. I have so many projects I'd like to tackle, and I also get very distracted when I try to clean. So I write down what I'd like to accomplish in a day and in a week and how I think I can make it happen. 

Without this notebook, I'm so very unorganized and therefore unproductive. Before I lost it, I finished a craft, but never got around to writing up the tutorial. I will at some point. It's probably half way done. Right now, though, I'm just so very drained from searching and then crying that I couldn't find it. I need to end this on a positive note, and I was/am so proud of myself so here's the picture for now.

I actually sewed something!!

Toilet Paper Tree Headboard - DIY

I had been wanting to make one of the toilet paper roll art things for a while now, but I couldn’t make up my mind about what I wanted to make. I was going to make stars (with a black background and silver pieces) or maybe flowers (with a white background and pink pieces), or maybe a vine (similar to what I actually came up with). My attention lately, though, has been drawn to trees so it seemed natural to make a depiction of this. I also wasn't sure what I wanted to do with the piece when I finished it, but then I was reading in a book of crafts about making headboards. So, now we have a headboard with a tree made of toilet paper rolls above our bed. And I just have to say it looks pretty fantastic. So here’s how to do it!

Total Cost:
Time: Around 3 hours if you're being picky, probably 1 1/2 - 2 if you're not.
Money: $10 because you shouldn't be paying for that big piece of cardboard (you can take any box you want from the stockers at Walmart in the middle of the night, or so they told me) or the toilet paper rolls separately. You have to use it anyway. I'm only counting cost for paint and a Sharpie marker, assuming you don't already have either of these things.

Materials needed: 

3 Paper towel rolls and 1 toilet paper roll (or 6-8 toilet paper rolls)

Sharpie

Piece of Cardboard (I used the side of a really tall box.)

Spray Paint (Green, and Brown)

Materials, other than the piece of cardboard.

Piece of cardboard.

First thing you'll do is get your paper towel rolls and flatten them out, then mark it every 1/2 inch with a marker. You can see in the pictures that I did this the other way around and well, it was much more difficult that way. 

Definitely flatten first.

This is way harder to mark on. And you'll need it flat to cut anyway. 

Then you want to cut on the marked lines.
I did this with 3 rolls so I ended up with probably 30-40 pieces at the end. Again, you could use all toilet paper rolls, you'll just need more of them.

These are just the ones from one roll because they were kind of everywhere.

Go ahead and take these outside. It's time to paint them!

I did this outside my front door so my neighbor's dogs were having a fit. She annoyed me so this was the ideal situation. Also, there was less wind out front instead of out back. 

This made a mess on my hands. Make sure you turn them every way to get all of them the same color all over, inside and out. I used spray paint and had to hold onto them to make sure they didn't fly away. I made sure one side was dry before turning to do another. 

Now go back inside and get your remaining toilet paper roll (I hope you still have one left!). Cut it down the side. And then cut the sides of this to make a shape like a tree trunk, like shown. I don't know how else to describe it.

I forgot to take a picture of the first step so I had to go back to do it again and didn't have the same color roll. Oops. 

Now you want to flatten this out, preferably with the biggest book you have. 

If you study English, you'll have lots of giant books laying around and finally they can serve a useful purpose. 

Now take your big piece of cardboard outside to paint it. 

Lovely, and complete with a glare. (I didn't even have to paint that part on.)

Go back inside and get that tree trunk toilet paper roll you made so you can paint it too.

Fortunately, this is a different shade of brown from the background because it was a different color cardboard to start with. 

Now organize the pieces on the background in the shape you want. Go ahead and lay out all of the pieces so you can move them around and make sure they're just right. Leave them in place and glue on one at a time with the glue gun. Then wipe off all the excess glue that is probably all over the place, if your projects go anything like mine. 

This is my final tree that now hangs out over our bed! Well, it would if I hadn't packed it up when we moved and then never decided to decorate once we got here. 

This post has been in the works for months now. I finally finished it tonight. The night before I go back to work from my mini vacation. Pretty proud of myself. 

Confession. Why I haven't written in forever, again.

So lately, I've been in a major reading slump. (Okay, a major slump in general.) I haven't wanted to start or finish anything. I read articles online, but a book just sounds like too much. I think part of it is the pregnancy. I'm exhausted and don't feel like doing much of anything when I get home from work or on my day off or, well, ever. I come home and eat something and watch television just to turn my brain off. It's awful, though, and I don't want to have excuses for not reading. I feel terrible for it. I do still love books, and I keep adding to my "to be read" pile, but haven't put a dent in it in months. This is a terrible feeling, though. I've been so ashamed of not doing what I thought made me me. So I didn't really mention it to anyone. Well, except a few friends who asked what good books I'd read lately. Then I had to admit that I finished the last one in May and it took me months to do so. 

Today, though, I read this: Book Slump. (Remember, I said that I can handle articles.)

Thank you, Book Prince, whoever you are. I needed to hear that it's okay to not be a reader right now. I needed to be reminded that I will read again and I'm not a fraud now. This also gave me good tips for how to get back to reading. Short books are the key I've found when this has happened to a lesser degree in the past. I can feel like I've accomplished something. Anthologies are also good for me because I can finish a story quickly. I can't reread books, but oh how I wish I could. I find myself wishing I'd never read a few books because they make too many others pale in comparison. 

I am happy to announce, too, that I checked out a book from work yesterday and have so far read the first 100 pages. I'm hoping to finish it before Wednesday. It's not the best book I've ever picked up but it's decent and keeping my attention. And it's easy. Very easy and light to read, which right now is what I need in my life. I wish it was pulling me in and making me forget everything that stresses me out, but for now, I'll take what I can get. And I'll try to get a review up of it (or of the one I finished in May) sometime soon.

Maybe I'll make something crafty again soon, too. Maybe.